Hmmm Wait a Moment

Comments 8 Standard

About a year ago I said I’d do a guest post for SarahDanne over on Unexplored Boundaries – but I struggled to think of a topic, life got in the way and I never did it. Sarah came knocking like a year later to see what happened and as I didn’t want to let her down (again) I sat down to pen a post. It dropped at the start of May and here is the link

Being as it’s Mental Health Awareness Week and i’ve been overwhelmed with support and appreciation I felt it was a good time to share this myself.

This post is somewhat long overdue but I am here to share some wisdom.

This is dedicated to something I’ve learnt recently. Something that made me stop and go “Hmmm wait a moment”, something that has changed my outlook on life and on the way the world works.

This is regarding Mental Health.

Related image

For the longest time, I have always thought to myself – Mentally I am strong, very strong. While I hear and see people complain and suffer from bouts of Mental Illnesses, I’d never given it much thought. For the regards of the person, the situation and the condition. Don’t get me wrong, I have always been a supportive person who would do anything for anyone – If I can help I will always strive to do so. But my grasp on the concept of Mental Illness was always lacking in knowledge and I would put an unsympathetic mindset down to that lack of knowledge.

This was until this year. 2019 set in and I stumbled across several things that in turn would help me better my understand, increase my compassion and also motivate me to help.

Image result for ant middleton quoteAs I’ve mentioned before in other posts I really got hit with the S.A.S: Who Dares Wins bug. The show grabbed me by the scruff of the neck, shook me about and threw me in the corner of the room to witness and watch life from a different perspective. This started my obsession with Ant Middleton, his motivational speaking and way of thinking which I took onboard as a lesson in growth and way to growth mental strength. Along with this new found respect and understanding, I also took a step back and truly looked at my Twitter, the people I follow, the people I support and the people who follow me.

It’s really struck a chord with me, the idea of Mental Health – especially for men and how it is poorly represented in society, in the media and in life. There is a stigma regarding it and even once upon a time, I would have used the term “Man Up” without truly thinking of the meaning or situation that the person I am saying it to is in. With the inspiration from Ant Middleton, Jason Fox, the S.A.S team and the amazing people on twitter that I follow I’ve come to realise that more should be done – it needs to be done. So I’ve decided to try and lay the foundations for something bigger, a movement or safe space as it were. For a way to give back, to help people, to give an outlet, support and the guidance that is needed – while striving to remove the stigma completely.

This is my next mission, my next chapter, my chance to do something rewarding, meaningful and helpful.


This is me.



Who puts the “Bra” in Equality

Comments 11 Standard

Today’s post is almost a guest post type of deal. Hopefully it will find it’s legs and get off the ground but as we begin I am just aiming in a direction and preying we get there – Like when you approach a large roundabout and you are not 100% sure on which lane you need. We’ll get there.

My GF suggested blogging about this because and I quote “You have a lot of female followers and it’s just something that really annoys me” – from that you can tell this is going to be a girl orientated post so I ask: Ladies here this cry as I bet it’s going to be relatable and Gents also stick around as no doubt you would have heard similar in the past from the females.

Bras for Big Boobs vs Bras for Small Boobs

We are going on holiday this weekend and so you know what that means, a lot of rushing round, buying sun cream, new clothes and changing money up. Well two out of three isn’t bad but when it came to new clothes the GF really wanted to pick up some new strap-less bras – Can’t have strap line tan marks, that will never do she informed me. So the mission was a foot. Few trips into town with no success, her annoyance was grouping and the holiday countdown was getting closer to the end.

See the problem she has is . . . she has rather big boobs! Yes I know lucky me blah blah blah but when it comes to clothing it’s a royal pain for her because she can’t find nice reasonable priced clothing that fits and for me it’s a pain because I have to hear about it and watch her get upset. The frustration is with retailers and brands, the size selections that are offered usually leaves us stood there looking at a sea of shelves and stacks of A, B, C size Bras, a few D’s, even fewer DD’s and then a poor selection of anything bigger.

The anger grows from here, in a world that is trying so hard to be politically correct, trying to be inclusive of everyone, not offend anyone and overall promote equality. It currently doesn’t look like that when you walk into Primark, New Look or even Tesco.

In fairness I am trying to steer clear from having a rant about Primark altogether – maybe that is for another post on another time.

How the big chains think it’s ok and very acceptable to only provide bra sizing for a limited sizing is bizarre to me and annoyingly frustrating for her. I know it could be said that certain shops don’t stock every size jeans, I mean I don’t shop in H&M because there is no way a 34inch pair of jeans are going round my somewhat chiseled godly belly. And I accept that, I know where to shop and where to avoid – but for something like bra’s I think that should be a different story – they are underwear, supportive, functional pieces of clothing. If the jeans don’t fit, I can pop on joggers or shorts, if the bra doesn’t fit what are the ladies supposed to? Maybe pop on a . . . what ever the alternative is – oh wait there isn’t one. Bra or No Bra that is the question.


Her rant will continue, imagine this – a sea of lush, sexy, cute styled bras made up of silks, lace and all that nice fancy stuff that makes a bra look as good as it is supportive. There at the back of the rail is a hanger that says 38DD or 40E (something for the fuller bust) so you reach in and imagine the disgust when you pull out a plain beige bra. I for one couldn’t even tell you what beige was, is it cream? Is it nude? Whatever it is it’s not the sexy purple and pink lace thing at the front of the rail. If a shop is going to accommodate for the large boob they think beige, black or white is the only acceptable colours – like are bigger girls not as sexy as the AA breasted ones?

That board meeting must have been a hoot and I think a few people need to start looking for new jobs after making that decision.

Yes I know, she knows, we all know there are stores that do stock the bigger size and some of the ranges are very tasty. But these specific stores come with a premium. £50 for a single bra in Victoria Secret compared to the three for £20 in Primark. So you’ve been blessed with big boobs but the price you pay for that is back pain unless you have a really good supportive bra and then you need a small mortgage to buy enough to keep you going. Is that fair? Does that make sense?

Am I making her point here. Can you relate to this and see what I am talking about?

I hope so.


So back to boobs and the hunt for a strap-less bra days before our holiday, the shops have not got the selection, so we hit the online shopping looking for a click and collect service; ASDA – No joy, Tesco – again like the store its a no, Debenhams, Peacocks, M&S all no luck. This is a floored system that needs to be addressed surely.

So my lunch break comes around on Tuesday – I head off in the hunt to please my fair maiden. Out of the 4 shops I dashed into only one shop (Yours) had the strap-less style bra she wanted. So £17 late – I know right! I was out of there. There was some funny looks as I hunted around the lingerie sections and even more so when I was buying the bra while holding a box of cat food – bless the girl who was working in the shop. She asked if I had wanted a bag? – Yes please lovely it might look very odd walking around carrying a bra and cat food. We laughed! Thank you “Yours”

So now the holiday is back on track, the GF has what she needs. But it’s a real eye opener when it comes to every day shopping, sizing and the product lines these big go-to high street brands offer.

Now we are at the end, we have ranted, bought bras and got frustrated along the way. But I hope I have done the GF justice in her rant, I hope at least some of you can find this relatable and agree that something surely should be done about this!

Leave your comments below, share this amongst the world, we should make a movement and give the big brands a shout out. Or is that too Anarchist and no very PC?





Understanding Stroke.

Comments 17 Standard

This is the post I have wanted to write for years but never found the power to do so.

Back in September 2013 my Nan (My Dad’s Mother) passed away from a sudden Stroke. It’s always been a bit hard to talk about, even when she comes up in conversation now days it still chokes me up inside. Let me start by saying I undoubtedly loved my Nan, she was such a happy, inspirational woman who would help anyone and she meant the world to me. In the summer of 2012 I lived with her while training for a new job as location made it the best option to do so. I think that time helped cement our relationship in so many ways.

The reason it’s hard for me to process and why this post is 5 years in the making is because I was the one who raised the alarm, the one who witnessed her have a Stroke right in front of me.

I walked into the block of flats and was told she’d just been take out for a belated Birthday meal by a group from the block and she might be having an afternoon nap. I walked into her flat and she was awake and watching T.V. – she stood up, said hello, gave me a hug and a kiss and then sat back down again. That was the moment it struck.

It was the most bizarre thing. She was fine, her loveable self but as soon as she sat down. She’d changed. The idea of a stroke went through my head but I didn’t want to accept it. I kept telling myself she was tired. She couldn’t speak and just looked at me lost – I thought give it a minute. She will snap out of it. I was asking her questions and trying to spark a conversation but with no luck. She patted me on the arm in a supportive reassuring way and I knew. I got up and rushed to find the block manager.

She lived in a retirement block where a manager overlooked everything and everyone. A place for the elderly who are still capable but looking to downsize. It’s a cute block with lovely people.

I find her having a cup of tea with the group that went out with my Nan. Which included her sister – my great-aunt. Struggling to string a sentence together I get the manager (Mary) to come check on my Nan. We rush back and she tries some response exercises to get a reaction from my Nan. I just sink back into the corner of the flat as Mary rushes off to call an Ambulance. She returns with the other block manager and my great-aunt who instantly goes into sister mode and tells her to stop being silly and to get up.

The paramedics get there, assess the situation and start to strap her into the chair to take her out. In that instant I learn so much about my Nan’s medical history that I never knew. To me she was always this strong amazing woman. Nothing could stop her. But to find out she has had falls and a small stroke before.

I didn’t know any of this. What is going? I’m now climbing into the wall. I really just want to wake up now.

We get to the hospital and the doctor has me sat in a little room explaining what is going on. Words like clot, brain damage and high blood pressure form a sentence but I’m still a wreck. He wants permission to start a procedure that will flush the clot on her brain, but there is a chance there has been too much bleeding and she will be left disabled. I remember thinking I can’t make that call. Of course I want them to save her and bring her back to the woman I knew but what about if things went wrong. I need my Dad or Aunt to decide. I can’t reach my dad and my aunt is at the airport about to fly out on holiday. I get her on the phone and just can’t string the words together.

The Doctor takes over and explains it all. She agrees to go ahead. But then it comes to light her blood pressure is too high to start and we have to wait.

Two days later on Friday 13th she passes away.

Losing a family member is hard, especially when its someone you care for so much but being the one to witness it is a whole new kettle of fish. Everyone kept saying just remember the good times, remember the last time you saw her – which worked for my sister and the family. But not so much for me.

The worst thing about it is I can’t ever talk to her again, introduce her to my GF, she’ll never meet my children or be there with a pot of tea as I walk in.

This is what hurts the most and so the Stroke Association has become a charity I support and follow with passion. I’d even love the chance to work for them to give anything I can back to them. I did a fundraiser for a Dry October a few years back and raised over £700 for the cause. I am also looking at doing the next fundraiser for the charity soon – but still deciding on what to do. As I feel as big as the charity is, it’s over looked with other causes and charitable organisations.

Here are the numbers and stats that you might not know about Stroke.

  • Stroke occurs approximately 152,000 times a year in the UK which is one every 3 minutes 27 seconds. 
  • Stroke kills TWICE as many women as breast cancer and more men than prostate and testicular cancer combined in a year. 
  • Stroke is one of the largest causes of disability – half of all stroke survivors have a disability. 
  • Stroke is the FOURTH single largest cause of death in the UK and SECOND in the world. 
  • For every cancer patient living in the UK, £241 is spent each year on medical research, compared with just £48 a year for stroke patient. 

Just let these sink in for a second. The second largest cause of death in the world is Stroke. Out of every horror in the world this is number two for deaths.

Stroke is a life threatening disease that is caused when blood flow to part of the brain is obstructed. There are two kinds of Stroke Ischemic and Hemorrhagic, the Ischemic is due to lack of blood and the Hemorrhagic is due to bleeding. Regardless of style they both lead to the same place and resulting in the brain not functioning as it should.

If this post does nothing else I hope it brings a small bit of education into your lives. It’s a horrific disease and it should be recognised more within society in my opinion. Help me raise awareness and bring these facts to light and to grow the support this charity has.


All the facts I have used in this post come from the Stroke Association website ( I have not been asked by the Stroke Association to write this or promote their work – this is a personal post looking to educate people of the seriousness of Stroke.


Personality Test – Who Am I?

Comments 8 Standard

analysts_ENTJ_francis_j_underwood_house_of_cardsPicture the scene, the office environment – the sound of buzzing keys bouncing off the keyboard, chatter in every corner and the drone of the phone ringing throughout the halls.

In true water cooler chit-chat style I got chatting to my friend in the other department and he began to tell me about a “Personality Test” his brother had showed him. He went on to explain it’s an American thing that some companies in States hold in high regards and can be picky enough to turn down your application if you are not the character traits they are looking for.


So I took the test, curious to know what my personality would kick out . . . I am a “Commander” – which goes on to explain how Commanders are Natural-Born leaders who embody the gifts of charisma and confidence, while also being able to project authority in such a way that draws a crowd and unites people with a common goal. This people are making up three percent of the population, so I’ve somehow managed to land in a rare and somewhat supreme spot.

This results page goes into so much depth and details that I could be here for ages to note it all down and go into it all. But I am going to highlight the first page which is Strengths and Weaknesses.

My Strengths and Positives are; Efficient, Energetic, Self-Confident, Strong-Willed, Strategic Thinker, Charismatic and Inspiring.

While my weaknesses are supposedly as followed: Stubborn and Dominant, Intolerant, Impatient, Arrogant, Poor Handling of Emotions, Cold and Ruthless.

Which upon looking at this I can or could somehow understand how each of these traits are something I have, do or don’t do. For example straight of the bat I would agree that I am Self-Confident, but I can also see my weakness of Impatient – I hate having to wait and will actively avoid doing something if I can see my time is going to be wasted when I know it usually shouldn’t take that long.

I don’t agree with being titled as Intolerant, I would say personally I am supportive and open to other people’s ideas, thoughts and notions. The same can be said about Poor Handling of Emotions, I would like to think my emotions are in check and that I can handle, hold and display my emotions as and when needed.

If you want to take the test and see your results this is the link:

I would love to know what you are deemed as, also the site also gives you examples of people you are like. As a Commander I was liked to; Steve Jobs, Harrison Ford, Margret Thatcher, River Tam from Firefly and the Controversial Francis J. Underwood from the phenomenal House of Cards (lets not get into the actor who plays him)

This could be seen as a way of understanding oneself, from this I can take away the points that this very detailed result page has given me and work on areas I see as flaws. Or on the other hand it could be taken as another silly internet quiz that looks fancy enough to be believed while being accompanied by some rather cool nifty artwork.

Regardless of which you believe I find this stuff rather interesting and being able to relate to the answers I believe the results more. This could be the start of a brand new relationship with myself. The beginning of something special.